i never blog in the day so this must be importante!!! =) yes it is

i just got back from my last day at work (Mason Elementary in Mira Mesa)... and boy am i full of emotions. so i usually try to make class books for the students when i leave their class... just so i can leave something behind and they'll remember me. i write an acronym poem about each student. it's so funny. at cadman last qtr when i gave them their class book, one of the students came up to me and said, "Ms. Jasmine, you think I'm amazing?" ... it's those comments that really touch my heart and soul.

so yeah, i work in a 3rd and 1st grade class there. both teachers are actually of asian descent so it was interesting to work with both of them. i have learned a lot from them and it has been one of those rare times where i didn't feel like the teachers i was working with were just horrible teachers. (sad to say i know). so yeah i made them class books and they made me books too!!! how sweet! that's never happened before. they all wrote me letters saying how im so "nice" and "helpful"... the first graders wrote some cute stuff. one student said, "i wish you didnt have to go to colith (college) so that you could stay with us." aww. and another student said, "i wish you could bring us food." hahaha. the third grader's book brought tears to my eyes. a lot of them said "you will be an excellent teacher Ms Jasmine" ... sniff sniff.. wow. it just reaffirms the idea that kids notice EVERYTHING about you. some students wrote that they liked my different hairstyles (i cut my hair halfway through the year)... and yeah... im really going to miss them all. i've been with them since november and it's been amazing to watch them grow as readers and students. sigh. im gonna put up the books on my walls. i have so much stuff from my kids that i refuse to throw away. and some of it is just simple letters that they've written me... i refuse to let them go. =) if i had the space i would plaster all the stuff that my students make for me on my walls but i would run out of doorspace... you know how parents happily put their kids' artwork all over the fridge, i would do that but then it'd just get way to cluttered.

it is because of moments like these that reaffirms my faith in my choice of education as a career. it is because of moments like this that reinvigorates my passion about kids. the small simple moments. the fact that you as an educator really dont know the scope of the impact that you have on students' lives... and sometimes you need to step and realize the scope of the impact that your students have on your own life. somtimes i question whether or not i was meant to teach or not... sometimes i wonder if i'll get bored or if everything will get tedious... but it definitely is moments like these that reassure me that i was MEANT to teach. there's really nothing else that i would ever have the same passion for.

im gonna miss my kids. sometimes i wonder if i enjoy getting hugs more than they do. =) it's those smiles and "hi Ms. Jasmine"s that touch my heart. and i will remember this moment... when things get tiring and tedious. i will remember to step back and realize that teaching is something that i LOVE and that i love my students and they actually love me too.

it really and truly is... ALL ABOUT THE KIDS.

 
adam's back from boston. i missed him... im SO not looking forward to the summer. =T boo. =) sigh. im on cloud nine.

why is it that every time i wanna use the restroom jeff or lisa is in there... i have horrible timing.

i feel the sudden urge to paint and draw. of course its 8th week and i have a paper due on thursday that i have not started... it's always when i have the least amount of time possible that i feel creative urges. more bad timing.

ive been cranky and snappy these past couple of days. i blame it on the pms. im thirsty and just eating everything... man, the life of a girl... sigh.

graduation is creeping up. dang.

i made books for my students. it's my last week of work. im gonna miss them. sniff sniff.

in my kindergarten placement... i never realized just HOW much patience you need for kindergartners. dang. i really dont think i have the patience. f'real. i need to be able to conversate with my kids. i feel like im a pretty patient person in certain situations but in kindergarten, man ... those little kids have such short attention spans! can you just sit still PLEASE for another few seconds? ay yi yi. i love them anyway

bonerz rocks. i wuv him. i have pictures now! yay. it makes me so happy. just seeing his cute little face brightens up my day. man i want a dog so badly

*fingers crossed* on the house. dang... im attached!!! my new roomies rock. it's gonna be so much fun. yay.

i wanna read my leisure books. once again, bad timing.

i have no comment on the lakers except all you people suck when you send me text messages. y'all just being jackasses. seriously. and im not sugarcoating that. it's just so damn rude. gees louise...

end of apsa term for me. wow. free mondays. what a concept.

had a dream about my grandma. she asked what my grandpa has been up to. i told her that he's shooting bunnies. (i was dreaming about shooting bunnies for some reason)... but yeah dang... i haven't had a dream about her in a long time. i believe that is how those who have passed communicate to us... i woke up and just cried in adam's arms. =( it felt weird. i haven't really thought about her much lately. but yeah i still miss her... but i know she's still around watching us, taking care of us. =) hard to explain- i just FEEL like she's around sometimes.

=) i really am so in love. so happy. besides being absent minded and lazy ... life is great.
i can't wait to teach. i'm not used to being "ms. chow".. gees louise doesnt that sound OLD. i like "ms jasmine" haha

 
jasmine's top romantic comedies (not in order):
1) as good as it gets
2) my best friend's wedding
3) how to lose a guy in 10 days
4) jerry maguire
5) the wedding planner
6) serendipity
7) america's sweethearts
8) you've got mail
9) when harry met sally/sleepless in seattle (they're alright to me)
to be continued...

and ...
AMELIE!!! It's not a romantic comedy but a beautiful masterpiece.

 
-waiting to hear about a camp director job in encinitas. they said they'll call me in couple of days. tomorrow is day 2... my interview went well (at least i thought so)... trying to cap my excitement level but i really am so excited about this... it's been my source of motivation! it'll be new... a challenge... wow
-house hunting ... i can't wait. i dont wanna move stuff but moving to a new place should be fun fun fun... esp with the peeps im living with ;)
-been real absent minded lately ... just cant seem to wake up in the morning. i guess sleeping at 2am doesnt help either
-bought a new book "the nanny diaries" .. ive wanted to read this for awhile. it's finally in paperback!!!
-helping my sister move this weekend. ugh. =) i mean, yay jackie!
-go lakers! kick some ass. please?
-turned in my grad school stuff. i guess it's official now... UCSD grad school here i come
-need to clean. i never get the time to.
-the bachelor!!! go JEN! i love her. =) i want her to win!!! sunday season finale!!! 9pm ... in front of my tv is where i'll be
-adam's going to boston for his older sister's graduation from grad school at BU. dang huh? =)
-i'm gonna miss APSA. thank you for all the embraces. it meant so much on monday. sigh... but hey, new board.. new year... new stuff.
-i am so in love. i truly am. *grins from ear to ear*

bed time. it's almost midnight. im trying to go to bed by 1am. MUAH!

 
randomness:
-went to TWO schools today. central and freese. saw my mentee Alejandra. i missed her. i kept having dreams that she was upset with me because i haven't seen her in a LONG time. but i saw her today... sniff sniff she's so big! i feel like my students are MY kids... and when i get to watch them grow up it's like.. damn! they're taller than me (i'm not that tall to begin with but you know what i mean)... i miss her so much. i talked to her mom too (she's a volunteer there). i helped this artist work with the students. they're making clay sculptures. it's so interesting. i really wanna teach at freese. that school rocks! they're remodeling too... it's crazy!
-been thinking about jeremy a lot lately. dunno why. weird. made beef steak the other day. i saw kumquats at ralphs. =) haha.. jeremy's mom used to make beef steak. mmmm.. comfort food
-housing stuff sucks. period.
-pcc rocked! it was so theatrical and smooth. it all tied in TOGETHER (not like random ass skits and then dances).. it was a StORY... that made you THINK! it was awesome. the best PCC i've seen. Cat, Reggie, Ian, Jed, Mikey, Pat, etc etc etc all rocked that ish!!!
-thursday was a long day. went to work at 8, classES, drove up to Encinitas to turn my job app, down to Hillcrest to do art projects with kids at Florence Elementary, then went grocery shopping... then chilled at home. Adam came over. that was nice. we were both tired though so yeah... that's alright. what a long day though. but boy was i productive! it felt awesome. i haven't been productive in a LONG ass time. =) go jasmine!
-LAKeRS won tonight! woo hoo! dang.. my poor nerves. can't wait til sunday though.
-history midterm on monday. sucks. i haven't read anything. boo. stupid mwf classes!
-i want to clean my room. badly. i want to clean the bathroom. it's a mess.
-this is my first weekend in sd without doing apsa stuff in a long time. yay. too bad i need to study. kinda feel bad that im not going home for mother's day
-there is something very sexy about a man's naked body... mmm.. =) yay for bahogs. i mean... yay for adam. =) hahahaha. lolz.
-i have a lot of respect for male teachers.
-dang graduation is coming up fast... how scary is that.
-i want to go to vegas. i need to get away.
-okay... good night!

 
oh and i LOVE bonerz.

i need a dog. i want a dog so badly... it hurts.
until then.. yay for bonerz. =) he's so cute!!! i wuv him!

 
ive done a lot of thinking. about apsa. about life. about my roomies. i dont like change. i feel like being ready to let go of things has been tough and i dont know how im really gonna deal with it. it's hard because i know im totally leaving but i feel like everything's not gonna be the same and that scares me.

silent affirmations always touch my heart. im glad steph came in and did that activity with us a board .. esp during time the last moments where we are a board. =) dang.

devean george is injured. sniff sniff.

im tired. it's gonna be LONG week. let's see if i'll go to all my classes... hmm

 
randomness:

All-People's Leadership Conference
-what an awesome experience. it was fun to be a part of history and to see how much "quality over quantity" really holds for a conference. =) i floated most of the day. it was fun... but tiring. i've never really been a "floater" before. so it was interesting. i helped out a lot with catering and floaters. i started the day by being "richard's personal assistant" but yeah i lost him early on in the day and after i got him coffee... i turned into a floater. hung out with edsel and laci. it was cool. let's see... all i know is that i DONT wanna see pizza for another month or two. and the fact that there's two domino pizza boxes in our dining room is totally making my stuff turn. there was so much pizza at the conference. literally we could have given one pizza per student and still have like 60 pizzas. dang. it was crazy helping the pizza guy take the pizzas out. it was like "there's more?!" and yeah ... grossed out. i can't see pizza. blah. taste aversion f'real. but yeah... took over for barbara as floater co-chair for a little while. helped pick up food and clean trays and just drive around on the carts and go down peterson hill really fast. =) the entertainment was awesome. denise really touched my heart. =) all in all, it was an inspiring experience. i know it'll just get bigger and better from now on and that is totally exciting.

This week:
-So yeah... ive lost motivation but i think after a weekend of rest, i'm ready to go. =) no midterms this week (i think) and so i think i'll be okie. i didnt realize how tired i was after the conference and i dont think i really rested much after that. since i woke up the next day on sunday to watch the laker game. GO LAKERS! oh and on Sunday, we all went to Rei do Gado's in downtown. it was fun. expensive but fun. =) all you can eat brazilian meat buffet. i think i enjoyed the filet mignon and the skirtsteak the most. =) allen, edsel, pat, ian, eryck, aldrin... all of em were like seeing how much they could eat. apparently they've been training all week. crazy huh. but yeah... it was a fun experience. the food was really good. adam and i had a good time. adam, cat, richard, victor and i went together... that was fun. jsut talking and stuff in my car. it was fun to see adam hang out with apsa people outside of apsa again too. =) anyhoo... going back to realizing that i didnt rest up much after the conference and then waking up real early on weds at like 7am (and going to bed at like 2am the night before) to go to my school site... didnt help me get any more motivation either. so yeah.. on thursday, i was just downright bitter. i didnt study for my psyc midterm. f'real i jsut flipped through my notes like once. not even totally once. i really didnt care. i really did not care at all about that midterm. i dont know. senioritis sucks. but yeah.. thursday, ian, richard and i went shopping at the carlsbad outlets. it was fun. we all bought something and it was just fun to hang out on a thursday afternoon/evening. =) we ate at friday's and watched the beginning of the laker game. on thursday, my voice slowly started going away til it was nighttime and it was almost non-existant. adam came over and slept over. that was nice. i think i needed some comfort and someone to hold me and he had a long day too so it was nice to be near someone to hug and hold. friday morning, woke up and my voice was gone. it was strange. i dont think ive ever totally lost my voice like this and it was strange to not be able to communicate. i actually went to class AND work and it was hard to work with teh students without really being able to talk. i saw my sister afterwards and we ran some errands. she's sick too. we both had froggy voices. went home. took a nap. had dinner with adam at pho. =) he had 2 small bowls. go adam! he's working his way up to 2 large bowls. =) that man can eat. it's so sexy. went to retreat. it was fun. mikey and iris' workshop made me think a lot about what apsa has meant to me and just thinking about how much im really gonna miss apsa even though i hope i'll still be around next year, but yeah... with grad school, i wont be around as much. hung out with people. and the DOG!!! okie so i guess his name is "bonerz".. dangit! i wanted to name him "mocha"... =) anyhoo, i wanted to take him home. he's a stray dog that just ran into the house when caroline and them arrived at jed's house. how strange huh. but yeah, bonerz picked a good house to run in to. =) all of us were like playing with him all night and stuff even though he was all dirty. i was SOOoOoOOoo close to taking him home with me. i would have if we lived at la cima. but yeah... no dogs allowed at this apt. boo. he's a puppy and he's sOoO playful and cute. he loves new people. =) awww... i want a dog SO badly. (ask james and richard - that's all i talk about sometimes) and it was hard to not be able to take this cute puppy home. edsel did though and im looking forward to visiting sometime this week. dogs are so great man. so loyal so loving. i need a dog. =) but yeah the rest of the retreat went well. i felt more sick though. i actually woke up feeling a little worse than the day before. but yeah.. after the retreat, came back.. did some shopping/ran errands... took a nap and just watched some tv (ocean's eleven is such a great movie. brad pitt is so hot in that movie. mmm mm good)... and got ready for adam's party around 11. went to his party. hella people there. crazy madness. kinda bummed that i missed out on the pinata with the condoms and candy. haha. danced in the garage aka dance room for a little bit. just hung out and stuff. it was fun. they covered the carpet with tarp this time so at least the carpet's all clean.. not like last time... ugh. yeah. =) so yeah slept over, woke up, watched portland lose to dallas and here i am ... on my bed blogging...

i feel lazy. =) time for shower. i'll do my work tomorrow. haha.