so i haven't blogged in about two months... but life has definitely been busy and blurry... im finally getting things down to a routine (which i love by the way) and even though i'm more busy than ever, i think i kinda enjoy having stuff to do and places to be and people to see. its jasmine's false self-esteem boosting way of making her feel SPECIAL. insecure i know. but yeah high school conference is coming along and i still find myself struggling to be absolutely passionate and motivated about it when i feel like no one is around me. y'know? im glad things are coming along but it's tough... i have to admit it's really tough just to put on an event again... but yeah, it's my last event ever. =T adam and i are great. i think things are finally settling down and into something comfortable and stable for us. it's been a roller coaster of a summer and it's been tough adjusting these past couple of months for us... between school, apsa, US, work, LIFE, friends outside of APSA, family, studying... etc... it's been tough to find a place where things are balanced. but i finally feel balanced with adam now... a point where im not resentful for giving too much and sacrificing too much and he's not doing anything... i think we're finally starting to truly meet each other in the middle... and i love that we have wonderful conversations now that are not "jasmine dominated"... i finally feel wanted and needed... and even though i know that he's always ""wanted/needed" me... i guess i just really needed something extra to scare away my insecurities. but we're great... and im happy beyond belief. i love that i can spend time with him and everything in the world just kind of disappears. it's like it's only ME and HIM... and that's all that matters. =) it's magical. but yeah enough cheesy stuff... in a nutshell, i am happy and very much content with adam... and things finally feel stable (which, once again, i LOVE)... one more thing, i watched adam and his IM football team (the TITS.. i dont get it either) ... and i have to say that there's something very sexy about a man playing sports. haha. but yeah, he's surprising quick. =) not that i didnt think he was quick, but he just surprised me how fast me moved across the field. haha... also very sexy. haha... he's got all the cuts and bumps everywhere though... it's pretty intense out there... just diving for the ball and landing on the ground. insane. really insane if you ask me. =) i have two midterms this week. i had one last week that was super tough. (to me anyway) it's stressful and even though i realized that i really need to just stop and enjoy the things that i'm doing, it's tough to always be motivated. seriously. took pictures with my family this weekend. my mom just went through chemo and she's about to lose her hair so she wanted us to take pictures. it was actually kinda sad.. i dunno. it's easier to just think that my mom's gonna be okay and stuff without thinking about her going through chemo and stuff. it's just scary. it makes me think about losing my grandma earlier this year... almost 7 months ago now. but it's scary... and i cant imagine losing my mom. she's supposed to be there for everything (marriage, kids, etc) ... im just praying and praying and being positive. alright back to studying.

i miss blogging...